When am I Enough?

Recently this word “enough” has been popping up in conversations, cards and my thoughts. Grace wrote in my Mother’s day card that being her mom was enough. In a recent chat with Duncan he asked me “when am I going to be okay with me?”

I think for most of my life I have been seeking meaning, purpose in my identity, purpose in my work, a sense of “I have arrived” I have definitely found purpose over the years, and experienced “I am good enough moments” but they have always been fleeting, leaving a sense of wanting in me, a void.

I ponder this void, this need, is this only something that can be filled by God, does this purpose get met by serving others, finding satisfying work or is this only something that can be fulfilled when I love me completely and realise that I am enough as me?

There is a song I often listen to called “Dream Small” by Josh Wilson. The chorus definitely resonates in me “Dream small, don’t buy the lie you’ve gotta do it all. Just let Jesus use you where you are, one day at a time, dream small” In truth this is what I long for, to choose to love myself completely and then to daily choose to work on the small dreams.

A Perfect Sort of a Day

Today I was woken to an early, Happy Mother’s day surprise breakfast and gifts.

I love that Eli drew me a picture and threaded the second M upside down on the keyring. I love that Adam gave me a picture frame rock on Friday and then tried to re-gift it this evening to Gemma. And I love that Grace spent time choosing a gift and wrote me a card that brought tears to my eyes. A card that affirmed me as mom and told me that that in itself was enough. A message I needed to hear.

After breakfast we headed on a bit of a road trip to get Eli a “new” bicycle… the road trip took us over the mountain to Worcester. It was such a wonderful reminder of this beautiful place we live in.

Eli with his new bicycle. He is very chuffed with his new bike and Adam has decided that Eli’s old bike is now his, even though it’s too big.

Once we had the bike we continued our mothers day adventures and headed over to Babylonstoren. I have been wanting to go there for so long, and the weather was perfect so off we went.

These mountains are so beautiful

Coming in for a group photo

Grace and the map were inseparable for the entire time we were there and when Duncan did mention that she could pack the map in the bag, she was horrified at the suggestion. Anyway if I’m ever stranded somewhere with a map I hope Grace is with me to lead the way!

Aren’t these sunflowers amazing! I want some for my garden

Having walked through the guavas and citrus trees and berries and all the other edible food it was lovely to come to the restaurant and be able to share in some of the farms produce.

I must be honest this is the biggest bathroom I have ever seen. Ads finally getting a chance to look at the map!

I could definitely have curled up with a book in one of those baskets

It was a hot day in the end and a nice cool mango and passion fruit ice lolly was the perfect way to end the day.

This cheeky chicken pecked my sore finger (which had a plaster on) when I turned my head!

We had a lovely, mostly peaceful day and even ended off at a friends art exhibition…all in all it was a great day

What not to do in a Cooking Class

For nearly a year now I have been giving cooking classes to children aged 6-12 years. It has been fun and exhausting and challenging but mostly rewarding for both the kids and I. We have baked and cooked and made up recipes and through it all we have luckily only had the odd burn and superficial cut to fingers, until yesterday that is…..

Yesterday I was helping one of the girls chop a sweet potato. I was helping provide support by holding the sweet potato while she was cutting. I’m not sure exactly what happened but let’s just say my finger was in the wrong place at the wrong time and the knife landed pretty firmly in my middle finger.

With 10 little girls looking at me and freaking out just a bit (luckily they didn’t see the cut) I organised some middle schoolers to watch them while I went in search of help.

Yay for calm Marcelle who didn’t freak out with all the blood and bandaged my finger that was gushing blood. She thought I was slightly mad going back to my cooking class, insisting that I needed stitches, but hey there was soup and bread to be made.

Once the soup and bread were made I headed to the doctor who informed me that I probably nicked an artery and that was why it was bleeding so badly.

I must admit the cut was nothing compared to the two nerve block injections in the base of my finger followed by a 3rd higher up. One stitch, a dead, numb finger and a tetanus injection later and I was back home.

I think my take home from yesterdays crazy class is, never be someone else’s supporting hand especially when they are wielding a knife!

Marcelle’s handy work

The results of my handy work!

Advanced gardening

Adam demonstrates his advanced gardening technique

Eli’s going out and reading

After much preparation which included writing up a passport, phoning Pet World and researching which fish to buy, Eli, two of his classmates and teacher Chloë went to buy the fish from Pet World yesterday. The going out made this little man so excited and I think he felt a bit like royalty on his return when the rest of the class came running out to see what they had bought.

Passport all written up and consent form signed!

Choosing fish

Eli and I have been working through a reading programme called Reading Eggs. Initially Eli really enjoyed it but I won’t lie the last 2 maps have been a real struggle with much gnashing of teeth and bumping of heads but we made it and finished the final lesson and quiz earlier this week.

I thought the programme was amazing and it definitely gave both Eli and I handles on some of the language rules, that I must be honest I don’t remember from school. Eli is starting to believe he can read and has been super excited about reading the Enormous Crocodile.

I am so proud of him, 9 months ago he didn’t know a lot of his letters and now he is reading. Well done my boy!

Riding

For the past year and a half Duncan has fallen in love with mountain biking to such a degree that I must admit I have felt a small amount of jealousy for his love, passion and overall fitness. Duncan has tried on numerous occasions to get me on a bicycle with little success mainly due to my lack of confidence.

I think a combination of wanting to find some form of exercise, that brought joy, as well as doing something with Duncan, inspired me to climb on a bike. It’s been about a month now and I can say I definitely ride less confidently than my 3 year old but it’s good fun and something we can do together as a family.

All we need now is a bicycle rack that can take all 5 bicycles and we are set for some fun.

Today we went to the bike track down the road and Adam got to ride his big bike there for the first time. He amazes me with his abilities and inspired me to go over obstacles, I hadn’t yet braved.

Jump 4 Joy

After Eli went to a birthday party, and got a buy one get one free for Jump 4 Joy my kids have been wanting to go back. So with us leaving it to the last minute (as in the voucher expires today) we went this evening, joined by friends, to enjoy the trampoline park. So much fun was had and I’m sure everyone will feel it tomorrow.

A Peaceful Picnic

It was such a perfect day for a picnic at the river so we packed a bag and went to Radloff Park. We ate, the kids played and Duncan and I got to chat while listening to the water trickling past. Of course a visit to Radloff wouldn’t be complete without a few wet dogs running past.

After nearly 2 hours of fun it ended with Adam falling into the river. Luckily Grace could help out and Adam could wear her shorts on the trip back to the car.

Eli Runs

Eli started trail running at school this term and comes home every Tuesday full of joy and happiness. Today some of the boys ran in the first cross country race for all the schools in the area, and what fun was had. Of course the fun was maximized by the fact that he got to run with his beastie.

Looking so cool in his Newberry Vest.

Callum, Eli, Dylan, Jeandré = Team Newberry

Post race with Marina!

And what better way to celebrate a good race for both runner and spectator than with an ice cream.

Mango Fandango

Grace and Eli are both learning this song in their classes and it can be heard at all times inside and outside of our house.