What I lose is the ability to engage. Yes, I participate, I do the activity, and I do it with my whole heart, but if I have been working continuous late nights there is something missing. I am quieter, slightly (or more than slightly) removed, and just have a different way of engaging, one that is slightly more automatic. The same can be said for my relationship with Donné. I think so far I have denied or ignored the deeper impact that late nights are leaving. And all of this is in the light of an additional family member on the way.

Of all the reasons to change my working habits, this is the one which actually motivates me to adjust. It is not going to be easy, and I will need to put a number of things in place to help me create the space that I would like. It is going to be a long term project.