Being parents has certainly had an impact on our relationship. We have both grown as individuals, grown as a family and grown together as parents. It has also had some detrimental effects – we spend less dedicated time together, and have not been communicating as much as we need to – which shows in our relationship.
While on holiday we got to spend a lot more time chatting and connecting. That was mostly because I was not working and we just had more time to spend together in the evenings. It was really good and reminded me that we need to be proactive in nurturing our relationship.
Before Grace was born we would usually chat to each other at bath time. Right from the start of our marriage bath time has always been a time to connect and speak about what is on our minds, but that has changed. For the last while I have been bathing with Grace, and then Donné would bath while I read Grace her bedtime stories. After supper it is typically clean up and kitchen and then off to work until the late hours of the night, leaving little time to connect.
So I have reinstated what we call "adult baths" where it is just the two of us. It is good to continue what we started on holiday and already the effects of this time together are showing.
I have been working pretty hard this year and I don't really know how it all fits together to get everything done that I need to, as well as invest the amount of time that a strong relationship needs, but I do know that trying to work it out is worth it.