The Simple Things in Life

On March 6, 2011 - Uncategorized

Today we went to see the Wildlife Photographer of the Year 2010 at Cape Town's Museum.  This is 3rd year that we have gone and the photographs are always stunning.   This year viewing the photos proved VERY challenging, since Grace thought the museum with all the animals was way more exciting than looking at photos, that together with climbing up and down the stairs, spinning around a metal stand and lying on the floor.  She showed no interest in the photos (which surprised us since she usually loves looking at photos), which meant that Duncan and I had to view them in shifts.

I must admit that I was disappointed that I couldn't walk around looking at and discussing the photos with Duncan (which we had done the previous two years). Having said that, I got to experience the museum through the eyes of a child again and watch her pure joy and excitement for the simple things in life – it truly is a blessing to be able to share those moments as a family.

After we had finished with the museum we walked through the Company Gardens so that Grace could see the squirrels, again pure delight.  It was interesting for me to watch that she had no fear of them and they no fear of her. 

The other highlight of my day was this morning, Grace and I snuggling under a duvet together.  She was reading books and I was watching cricket.  I look forward to winter when we can cuddle under a blanket and read books together.

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Squirrels

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Cleaning out

On March 5, 2011 - Uncategorized

We spent some time cleaning out some of the office cupboards and collecting books to donate to our local library. Cleaning out always assaults our sense of "future nostalgia" (that is the term Seth Godin uses in Linchpin). Future nostalgia is an attachment to a particular outcome which has not yet happened. When I clean out I think, "Hmm, but I haven't read that book yet," (the one which has been in the cupboard for 2 years) and "I've been meaning to do something with that."

Cleaning out gives us three choices,

1) Hold on to that book/item and the future nostalgia attached to it,
2) Do what we originally intended to, or
3) Let it go.

When something has been in the cupboard for too long I tend to let it go. I believe I made the choice about whether I was going to do something about it a while ago, back when it got packed in the cupboard instead of getting done. Some other actions were more important at the time. So the only thing I need to do when cleaning is let go of the future nostalgia.

Today we saw someone with the most unenviable job. A young girl was handing out promotional material….a "My 1st period starter pack." It certainly brought a smile to my face, although Donné wasn't too impressed when she asked if she had a daughter – as if she looks old enough to have a teenage daughter 😉

Breaking through

On March 4, 2011 - Uncategorized

I have been reminded of last year’s World Cup (soccer) by hearing “Waka Waka” playing during the cricket world cup. It was a time of exhuberance, excitement and unity – to me, a true reflection of who we are as a country. The excitement may have died down, but I still hold onto that vision as the reality of our country.

I am working hard to hold on to a similar kind of vision for my own life – a life where I am an amazing husband and father, create great art through my work, and execute interesting projects. At times life overwhelms the vision, and at other times the vision feels ready to break through. May your dreams break through and overwhelm your reality.

Also, today Grace made it through the whole day without any accidents or wet nappies. 24 hours without a drip, or a drop, or a skid mark.

Grace shopping at the toy store

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Being privileged

On March 3, 2011 - Uncategorized

Life is not fair. It is not fair that I got to go to university which was paid for by me generous parents. It is not fair that we have all the things that we have, and there are so many others who have so little. It is not fair that our honest, hard working and reliable domestic worker (Ethel) lost her other job due to a criminal duping her to allow them into the house. Life is not fair, but what we have (our things and circumstances) are what we have.

The only way I can make sense of it is in the same way as the bible story of the gold talents – what we do with what we have is more important than exactly what we have. Do I journey well with what we have? Sometimes. I hope (maybe plan is a better word) to be able to look back and see that I did amazing things with the extremely privileged circumstances that we have. I hope to have changed people, to have given my art to the world, and to have journeyed well with what I have been given.

Ethel came to me in a state on Monday after having basically lost her job (technically suspended until the investigation is over). Someone duped her into letting them into the house and then proceeded to steal a large amount of jewellery. Ethel has always been 100% honest and is a really straightforward person – I trust her account unreservedly. What happened to Ethel was terrible and life as she knows it has come crashing down around her. My hope for this is that she will get an even better job, with better pay – hopefully that is the journey we will take.

If you need a super hard working, reliable and honest domestic worker in Cape Town, let me know – I have someone amazing for you.

I love cricket

On March 2, 2011 - Uncategorized

I truly love the game of cricket in all forms, 5 day tests, as well as 50 or 20 over games. Before Grace was born I used to love working with test cricket playing on the TV in the background, I could watch the exciting bits and work during the boring overs. Five day tests are also great for napping, the droning voices of the commentators makes for wonderful white noise and the perfect nap.

I am currently in my element because it is the Cricket World Cup, and there is cricket on everyday. Some of these games have been particularly one sided and boring but others have been very exciting.  Today’s game was one of those bite your nails, sit on the edge of your seat, close your eyes, kind of games. I don’t generally like the English cricket team and took great pleasure in watching Ireland (an Associate Country ie a Minnow Team) beat England with 5 balls to spare.  It was a very exciting game and Kevin O’ Brien scored an amazing 100 off only 50 balls to help his team win this historic match. Well done Ireland.

I must admit that one of the first items Duncan and I bought after getting married was a TV so that I could watch the Cricket World Cup in 2003.  South Africa performed particularly badly and I kind of felt like we had wasted our money (which we had very little of at that stage).  Having said that South Africa still hasn’t won a World Cup and although I am always hopeful I have to be honest I am a little weary.  

I suppose my only desire for this World Cup is that Australia doesn’t win – I feel like it is time for another team to win 🙂  

Kevin O’Brien after getting his 100
 

Banana Bread and Puzzles

On March 1, 2011 - Uncategorized

So like most kids, Grace loves to bake – well mostly she just enjoys dipping her fingers into the mixture and licking the bowl.  Since I had a bunch of over ripe bananas we decided to bake banana bread today.  Baking banana bread turned out to be way more fun than anything else we have baked, not only did she get to peel 4 bananas (which she currently loves doing), and take a bite or two of each, but she also got to eat the mixture, and some yummy banana bread when it had finished baking.  Of course once the banana bread came out of the oven she wanted some immediately and I had to endure a lot of “I’m waiting” during the 15 minutes I had allocated for the banana bread to cool down – not much time I know – but for a 20 month old, a life time.

So on to the second part of my title, puzzles.  In the last two weeks Grace has suddenly decided that puzzles are the greatest thing since books (which is currently rated second on her favourites list).  She now builds 3,4,6, and 9 piece puzzles with ease, and with a little help a 12 piece puzzle, as if she has been doing it for a life time.  I am so fascinated how something that looked so difficult a few months ago can now look so easy.  

I am awed and amazed on a daily basis by Grace’s development and think it is such a privilege and blessing to be able to share in her life and watch her develop into this special little person.    

Special Friends

On February 28, 2011 - Uncategorized

Duncan and I definitely don't have millions of friends, and we probably never will, but the friends we do have are very special.  We are blessed to have friends that we can just be ourselves with, share history with and journey together through the ups and downs.

So I just want to say thank you friends, for loving and investing in our family.    

Wheels & running around

On February 27, 2011 - Uncategorized

Donné has been wanting to go on Cape Town's Wheel of Excellence for a while now, and seen as this was its last weekend of operation it was literally now or never. It is certainly not the London Eye, but it was a great experience on a beautiful day – we got to see a new perspective on the amazing city we live in. Grace, as expected, loved it and when it was all done wanted….wait for it….can you guess?…..MORE.

I think the thing that I might remember the most from today happened at our local Vida in the late afternoon. There is a raised bed with a tree on the one side and a fountain on the other just outside of the Vida we frequent. On weekends there are always children up on it and running around. A while back one child fell off and wacked his head – I can still remember the sound…although he seemed to recover fairly quickly. Today, for the first time, Grace climbed up there and "ran" round and around on the raised part. My nerves are shot, coffee will never be the same again.

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Potty Training

On February 26, 2011 - Uncategorized

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Grace on the potty at the back door

Potty training has been an interesting journey with Grace, as with everything Grace related it occurred in her time.  It felt at times that the harder I tried to get her to use the potty the more she resisted and the times I just relaxed and went with the flow she would amaze me and do wee’s and poo’s in the potty on her own.  

After our initial go to the potty 3 times a day to get used to sitting on the potty, and learning the signs for potty we embarked on “proper” potty training in the beginning of January. Duncan and I decided that for two weeks while we were at home Grace would run around naked and we would take her to the potty on a regular basis.  Well after feeling like we were getting no where (maximum one wee in the potty a day), feeling like I was on permanent “suicide watch” and very tired of cleaning up the floor (thank goodness for wooden floors), I called a time out for a much needed break, only a week and a half in.  I must admit I felt a little dejected at this point and started wondering had we started to early? was she really ready? but at the same time was wondering if putting her back into nappies would undo the tiny bit of progress we had made…Yes I know I’m a control freak and worry too much about silly things.  

Anyway after an ear infection and a few days rest, we decided to try again and she amazed us by going to the potty twice on her own on the same day.  This lifted my spirits and I thought we had turned a corner, but again I was wrong and although we started off with about 3 or 4 wees in the potty a day, by the end of the week we were lucky to have one wee in the potty.  Once again we took a break and back into nappies we went.  

After our second break it felt like Grace made progress and would use the potty on her own (some of the time), and although this was a step in the right direction, I felt rather trapped, since she is unable to pull her panties down and could therefore only use the potty if she was naked.  A slight problem I know!  The other problem we encountered at this stage was that if we took her outside in the garden she would wee, as if on cue, on the steps at the back door.  It didn’t matter if you took her to the potty before going outside, she would still wee on the steps.  Eventually out of desperation I decided to put the potty at the back door and guess what she sat down, focused and delivered. 

I’m not sure what her fascination is with the back door, maybe its the view, maybe the fresh air, who knows but one thing I can tell you is that if you need her to wee on cue just take her to the back door.  

In the last week and a bit we have made huge progress and Grace wears panties while at home.  She signs to us when she needs to go to the potty (most of the time) and is able to make her wee’s and poo’s in the potty in the bathroom, although if we are going out we still take the potty to the back door.  She wears a nappy during her nap, which is mostly dry when she wakes up and she then goes to the potty, and then at night.  We have on occasion taken her out in her underwear, but this is usually on short trips.  If I am going to be out for longer periods I still put Grace in a nappy, but am amazed how many times it is still dry when we get home.  

The next step on this journey is to get her used to using the actual toilet and not the potty, which she is currently showing interest in.  Once that happens and she is comfortable with that I will be brave and take her out in panties on a regular basis.

So after about a 6 – 8 week potty training adventure our 20 month old has got it, well mostly!  In the words of Duncan she is house trained 🙂           

from grumpy to holiday

On February 25, 2011 - Uncategorized

Donné did an assessment today which meant I got to spend the morning
looking after Grace. I was tired after going to bed at 2am (sorting
out tax and admin thingies) and definitely a bit grumpy this morning.
I have worked really hard so far this year, with really great results
to show for it – more things shipping, and happy clients – and it has
really required a lot of effort.

And then, amongst the tiredness, grumpiness, and worry about things
that need to get done, I just got into it and had a beautiful day with
my daughter. At the end of the day I felt refreshed and as if I had
been on a holiday. Such a wonderful privilege to be able to spend time
with my daughter and enjoy being a family.