With Mothers Day this Sunday, I just want to say that I think it is an amazing privilege and gift to be a mom and I really am enjoying it. I know that being a mom can be a tiresome and often thankless job, but I didn't decide to become a mom for what I would get out of it. I wanted to be a mom to grow our family and the love that we share. Beingf 3 has definitely grown the love in our family, more than I could have ever imagined and I think it such an amazing gift from God.  

I have been told this many times, but I was reminded today of how in tune our children are to our moods and anxieties. I feel that Grace is a child who is very aware of her environment and what is going on around her, so she is possibly even more tuned in to our emotions.

Winter is upon us (kinda) which means wet hair and hair dryers….which Grace thinks are quite a lot of fun. Fun to dry mom’s hair, fun to have her hair dried and fun to dry her dolls hair (even the ones without any). When Donné is drying her hair in the morning there is a procession of dolls, each coming to have their hair dried, and then Grace spends some time having her hair dried. It also means she is quite excited to get her hair wet while bathing, as then we need to dry it with the hair dryer….

Donné having her hair dried

I have been thinking about parenting today. It certainly isn’t an easy job and I often find myself asking “am I being the best I can be for Grace?”, are we making choices that are good for her etc?  A friend of mine said that “once you become parents you live in a state of guilt”  She didn’t mean that in a negative, oh “I’m such a bad parent” kind of way, but rather “am I doing the best I can at all times?”

Parenting is an interesting journey, challenging, but definitely rewarding.  It teaches you to become selfless, it teaches patience, it shows your strengths and your weaknesses,  but most importantly it gives you the gift of loving and family – a new kind of love and a new kind of family, which is very special.

I know I get it wrong on a daily basis, but my hope and prayer for Grace is that no matter what choices she makes in life, good, bad, or ugly, she will know that Duncan and I are a safe place, where she can come and feel accepted and unconditionally loved.

Some photos from today:

Grace and the Goggles

Grace did something which really warmed our hearts today. Donné has been watching Glee and wanted to show me a scene where a deaf choir sings “Imagine” by John Lennon (they sign it and one of the members speaks the words). Halfway through the song the Glee club kids join in with singing. Grace was watching and started to sign along with the deaf choir. It was very heart warming and fascinating (surprising) to see how she was mimicking their actions really well.

This sweet and heart warming child is also the one who has suddenly gotten full of energy and is just loving any sort of physical activity. Today we went for a walk in Green Point park again and she rode her bike around a large part of the park, went for a long swim where she kicked, bounced, splashed and had loads of fun, and then went for another ride up and down the street. She is getting really fast on her bike and manoeuvres really well – even when I think she is going to ride it off the path and into a stream of water.

Getting some of this extra energy out has now become a bit of our daily routine at bath time. Once she has her clothes off she thinks it is a great time to run off down the passage, through the lounge, through the kitchen and back again. For us it is really lovely to see her being more boisterous.

The reason we were in Green Point again this morning was to have coffee with a great friend, and we discovered another place which serves amazing coffee – Miss K. Really awesome cappuccinos (although they would technically be classified as flat whites). We will add that to our list of recommended coffee shops.

After a week of wintry weather, autumn seems to have returned for a short while. It was a lovely day to be outside and we enjoyed an afternoon walk to the park. I must admit I don't always feel like the 20 minute walk there, but the fresh air, sun and playing is a good time to clear my mind, and I mostly come home feeling happier and more energetic. That means that during the 20 minute walk home I often feel more bouncy and I find it more fun. It is also a good time to chat to Duncan and find out what is going on in our heads. It really is a special time together as a family and Grace really enjoys the clambering, sliding, swinging and merry-go-round.    

There is a new doll in town, and Toy Town is not big enough for the three of them. Monkey has been a firm favourite, but Andrew made a comeback over the last week….that was until a new doll arrived. And she did not just arrive on her own – she came with a bath.

She might look friendly, but she will hose you down with her shower and spray soap in your eyes. Watch out toys, Tracy is here, and she is the number one doll in Toy Town.

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Sometimes things don’t go according to plan…

I had a fairly boring day planned – wake up, breakfast, take family out for coffee, work rest of day – but plans changed. We ended up going for coffee at a funky restaurant in town, taking a walk in the Green Point Park, and then taking lunch to a friend and visiting with her all afternoon. It was important and special time for me, time to detach from my desk and connect with my family and friends.

In the past I have often become frustrated when things have not gone according to the plan I have laid out in my mind for a day or space of time, but I have been working on being less attached to my future plans and more flexible and in sync with what is happening in a particular moment. I am also listening to the audiobook “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” and one of the things he says is that you can be efficient with things and effective with people, but not efficient with people. So I am trying to make sure I am flexible in all my interactions.

I have really been enjoying watching Grace have free play time with other children. It makes my heart glad to see her playing and interacting with other children, and exploring the world with them. She has recently started playing with other children, rather than playing next to them. She got to have some good play time with Isabel while visiting at Mel – swinging, climbing up the jungle gym, lots of sliding and looking at the fish. I want to give her more of that kind of play time. Something which we have failed to do while in Cape Town is to create community. We have amazing friends, but we don’t have a group of people (in a similar life phase to us) with whom our lives naturally intersect. There are many reasons for that, but that failure has an impact on Grace and her access to the type of play time I want for her. We will have to do something about that…

Isabel taking Grace for a walk around the farm

As I have mentioned previously I am really enjoying seeing and being a part of Grace’s imaginary play development.  I think the reason I get so much joy is because I have fond memories from my childhood engaging in imaginary play, from teaching my dolls to swim to having tea parties.  I even had an imaginary friend for a time.

While playing in her room today Grace decided that Andrew (the doll) was a little under dressed for our cold wintry weather and so we chose some new clothes for him.  I think if Grace had her way he would have been clothed in a dress, but I explained that boys generally don’t wear dresses and, since he was still a newborn baby, that a babygrow was probably better suited and would definitely keep him warmer.  She agreed and we dressed him together, choosing a little beanie to complete the outfit.

Here are some photos from our play session – it started with her dancing with Andrew, followed by taking him for a ride on the bike.  He then fell off the bike and landed with a “goof” so Grace followed suit.  Andrew then got undressed and after some new clothes was ready to face the cold.

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Loves for Spicey (poor cat – not that he generally minds)